at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
