Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize