Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize