I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I can't put those talents on a resume
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
