Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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