We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I lost the right to judge tonight
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
