its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
