the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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