sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
