Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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