Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
