how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Randomize
