Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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