ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
