I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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