Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
