If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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