STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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