who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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