fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
