I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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