So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.