I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom