yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...