Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
