At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
