your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
