Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
