He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
