There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
