He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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