Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I think i got beer on your cat.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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