i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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