I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
