He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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