how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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