no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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