just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
We named our party play list daddy issues
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize