When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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