let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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