so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
