come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
