no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
