my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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