garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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