Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
