I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
