I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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