who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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