Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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