You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
