Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
