C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize