Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
