Cold hands, warm shart.
D3 body, D1 cock
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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