That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
