So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
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She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
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Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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