There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
