Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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