Your face is a jimmy john
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
