And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
